Standard-Issue Chicken
Backstory, stats and how to beat it.
At a glance
| Threat | 🥚 (1/5) |
| HP | 22.0 |
| Speed | 1.00 |
| Eggs dropped | 1 |
Backstory
Deep in a beige government warehouse, under fluorescent lights that hum like paperwork, the first Standard-Issue Chicken rolled off the line. It did not cluck. It filed. Its personnel file is 47 pages long, and every single page says the same thing: MARCH.
The Standard-Issue Chicken is the backbone of the siege — the one that shows up on time, follows the manual to the letter and never improvises. It doesn’t explode, sneak or philosophise. It marches. That makes it quietly dangerous: a steady line of these birds down your lane spends your cheap shots and clears a path for the interesting chickens doing the real damage.
It has no secret weaknesses and no hidden strengths. It is, in every sense, standard. The manual says this is a compliment. The manual is wrong.
What it’s good at
Marching in straight lines, obeying orders, and looking mildly disappointed when your tower fires at it.
How to beat it
No tricks — any defence works. Point your cheapest tower at it and save the clever counters for its cousins.
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